An interesting thing happened while I was editing these photos. Kim came to the digital photography lab to check in with me, and we discussed the social implications of my project, which I haven't really gotten into beyond what's in my mission statement. I'm still pretty entrenched in the personal events that have taken place since I put on the dress, to the point that it's really hard to even begin thinking about the bigger picture here. As we talked though, she made me realize just how much I take my liberal surroundings for granted, and how very lucky I am.
What does it mean that I shared the first dance with a woman? If I were in Texas, would I have felt comfortable dancing with her? What about if I were in Tunisia? In fact, would I have been able to have this wedding at all? I could be wrong, because I've never been to Tunisia, and I've only been to Texas once. But my guess is the amount of support and love that this project has gotten from my communities in Santa Fe and New York is about equal to the amount of disgust, hatred, and even violence I would face in most places around the world, just for loving myself, and even more for loving other women.
I will never understand how love could be considered a sin. I honestly do understand why some people have sexual comfort zones, and how sometimes it's hard to see beyond them to understand someone else's sexual preferences - that's a process that can take time. But love? How could anyone possibly question the decency of love? Across the globe, love is often the standard by which to measure the value of a person's life - so why is heterosexual love the only kind that counts? Who made up these rules? And how can we change them?
5 comments:
I would definitely say- In Texas, dancing with another woman would be uncomfortable. I probabaly wouldn't do it at all unless I were in a LGBTQ-oriented area.
i honestly believe that most homophobia results from a straight mans innate and programmed fear of anal penetration.
sorry for the double post, but i just have to add that i think this project is brilliant! i have bookmarked it and will be following along and learning with you. (and showing this to every woman i know)
i have alot of respect for your courage and tenacity. and the dress looks fantastic on ya, btw.
We can change things by dancing with other women in Texas, and Louisiana and everywhere we want to dance with them. If we don't, we'll just keep telling ourselves how scary it is and how much it'll never be okay. We're the only ones who can make it okay. But thank God, for places like Santa Fe and New York where it is okay.
Thanks, Irina. You're beautiful.
Word. You're a gutsy girly, and I love you!
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