Yesterday, shortly after I'd posted an entry redirecting questions of intention to my Mission Statement, I got a comment from Anonymous that read exactly as follows:
I think this whole thing a huge "look at me! look at me!" stunt that comes off more as a desperate need for attention than anything else.
OUCH.
I fumed and panicked and tried to think of some biting comeback. And then several hours later, as I finally drifted off to sleep, I found some clarity:
1. I think it's important to acknowledge that, while I am a woman, which can be a huge set-back, I'm also white and middle-class, and these classifications bring an amount of cultural and academic "privilege" that can't be denied. Some people aren't going to "get it" and it's NOT necessarily because they're lower down on the intellectual food chain - as I see it, it's simply that people from different backgrounds are taught to think in different ways. For all I know, this particular Anonymous is female and white and middle-class as well, but either way, their comment got me thinking about the socio-economic limitations of the art world and I feel that it's an important issue to make note of.
2. Of course there's an element of "look at me!" It's ART! I'm not going to make generalizations about the meaning or purpose of art, because as any contemporary art student knows, it's a set-up for failure. I can say, however, that most art with a visual component is meant to be looked at. If I didn't want attention, I'd be a real fool to wear a wedding dress for 30 days.
3. There is, however, an interesting double standard being raised here. When a man does something that gets him a lot of attention, people say he is confident or they say he's showing off, but they won't really attack his overall character. It's only natural that a man should display his strengths, right? It's like a male peacock showing his grand feathers to prove his fitness and overall worthiness as a mate. But heaven forbid a woman should do something that gets her a lot of attention! That makes her desperate and people call her an attention whore. Not just an attention seeker, but an attention whore. According to The American Heritage Dictionary a whore is defined as:
A prostitute.
A person considered sexually promiscuous.
A person considered as having compromised principles for personal gain.
So when men seek attention they are simply self-assured, but when women seek attention it means they have compromised their principles? And if women shouldn't be seeking attention, what are they supposed to be doing instead? Should my anatomy alone define me as meek and modest? As quiet and scared and submissive? Being a mere woman, should I stop speaking my mind and challenging archaic gender constructs? Should I be learning to cook pot roast and keep my mouth shut instead?
5 comments:
Learning how to cook pot roast in a white wedding gown? Hmmmmmm, bad idea, I think. Keep your mouth shut? A VERY bad idea. I am thrilled to hear what you have to say, and am so proud of you for not immediately defending yourself, but rather sitting with this comment and making good and thoughtful use of its provocative nature.
I think cooking pot roast is a bad idea because it is a dead piece of flesh and not very appetizing (and i think you would agree with me there).
Regardless of if the anon. person who left that comment gets it or not, I think that it is brilliant that you are forcing others to question their norm. Im actually suprised that there havent been more comments like it.
Count yourself lucky to be among so many liberal/progressive people.
and kudos for being the better person. ;)
love SGCB
Love,
A wise, old man once mumbled, while removing his clothes and preparing to run through a public event naked, "There will be two types of people who respond to my act: Those who get it, and those who condemn it. However, there will also be two more within those categories: Within those who get it, there will be those who applaud my attempts, and those who look down their noses at me. Within those who condemn it, there will be those who do not get it and therefore hate it, and those who find jealousy springing from both the fact that everybody else gets it, and everybody else is suddenly focused on something other than them.
Either way, this one thing, this one action, this one idea, will create an unexpected change in the thought pattern of every person in this group of people. Some may feel as though there is not enough watch for psychosis in this state, while others may feel that as though old people should not be allowed out. Some may feel like it was a waste of time and a 'cry for attention.' And then, there is the one person who may realize just how beautiful this world is; that we have the choice to run around naked, because we are alive.
That is the one person I hope to reach.
Now, watch me send a ripple through the calm surface of 'normal.'"
Simple, little creatures...
-Zeke
How's the saying go? Ah yes: Fuck 'em if they can't a joke.
There will always be people who would like nothing more than to shoot you down. The people who don't want you to shine because, instead of being inspired to do the same, they can't see that potential within themselves. Either that, or the questioning of gender roles profoundly challenges their embedded sense of right/wrong. Or jealous artist who wishes they'd thought of it. Regardless, rage and panic, while understandable and justified, aren't the way to go, as you obviously realized. Remember that you, as an artist, have a contingent of fans who support and love you, and who will defend your art if they feel it is necessary. You, as an artist, can afford to be somewhat above the fray, at least where stupid anonymous net trolls are concerned. And, after reading that silly comment, my immediate response was the same as yours. Of course it is a cry of "look at me!" It's art! And I'm sure some artists would object to my attaching that motivation to what they do, but it is a motivation that, if completely invalidated, would invalidate a massive portion of the collective body of great art.
And Zeke: Fabulously well put.
When people make comments meant to belittle another it often stems from self esteem issues.
The issues of being a woman are as plentiful as being a man. Ideas about what you should look like, how you should treat women and more of the like. None of these things seem logical to me.
What I do love is that you are making the dress mean something. Symbolism is what the wedding is about. Two people coming together and being in love exchanging rings to show there love and commitment or the woman submitting to the man with the ring really being the binding on her hand to remind her(like she would forget who she married). My point is that you could have the wedding symbolize anything you want. And when it comes down to it it don't matter what you think if its not your wedding.pissed about.
More power to you. If other people put you down fuck em. Its not for them its for you.
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