A lot of people take note of my hands these days and wonder why I'm not wearing a wedding ring. The answer is that my wedding was very distinctly about valuing myself without having a man around to tell me I'm valuable. As far as Jewish customs go, the wedding ring represents the exact opposite of what I was trying to accomplish.
In the August 1985 issue of the Dance Research Journal, Riv-Ellen Prell (who, among other things, is a professor of Jewish Studies and Women's Studies) wrote an article entitled "Keynote Remarks on Marriage." As she explains it:
Then the most important statement of the wedding is made. Placing the wedding ring on the index finger of the bride, the groom says, "Behold, you are consecrated to me with this ring according to the law of Moses and Israel."
Okay, did everybody catch that? The groom says it. JUST the groom. So historically, the ring specifically symbolizes the woman's obligation to serve and honor the man as deemed proper by Jewish law. The whole custom reeks of ownership and subservience, and according to Prell, it's the most significant part of the whole ceremony.
I think I'll pass.
1 comment:
YO.
so i know a big part of this project is to try and understand your value as a single JEWISH woman, but hey i'm going to play devil's advocate anyway.
i thought this was really interesting, it's the condensed (i suppose) history of the wedding ring, its pagan origins, etc.
http://www.seiyaku.com/customs/rings.html
i've only been to one jewish wedding, and it was between a jewish man and a christian woman, but i think i remember them saying something along those lines to each other at the same time. that's about as far as my knowledge of traditional jewish weddings goes.
you do make a really interesting point about the woman's traditional responsibility to the man. i just think there's a little more to the wedding ring than that. and really, would we even be friends if i didn't challenge you every now and then? :P
love you.
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